Amazon it? Give me a break!

Come on folks!  Give a dude a break!  Most of you who have been reading the content of my blog know that I have a pet peeve about people who turn words into verbs when they are not (Google for example.  See my post on that one!).  Or changing the name of populare or house hold names (like Xerox to mean copy or Kleenex to mean tissue.)  Well just when I least expected it another such term cropped up on me yesterday.   When is it ever going to end?

I was had just gotten off of the bus and was walking with a friend of mine who works in the same general area and frequently sits next to me on the way home.  He was trying to tell me about  a book that he was reading that he thought that I would be particularly interested in.  Sure I said.  What’s it about.   So he proceeded to tell me about the subject matter of the book— nothing bad, but definitely NOT up my alley — and as we parted (he turns right and I go on two more blocks before my turn–though you neeed to know that 🙂 ) but as I was saying… as we parted he told me that if I was interested in getting the book I could look up the author (and he gave me his name) and told me all I had to do was Amazon him!   ARRRRRGH, how my skin began to crawl when he said that.  Amazon IS NOT A VERB!!!!!!  I’m sorry, it might even be a household name at this point…. but it IS NOT a verb!  I don’t care if Merriam Webster decides it is, just as it has decided with Google.  Amazon is not a verb.  Did I happen to mention that Amazon is not a verb?  Oh, OK, I didn’t want to forget.  So, at least for me, I would like it to be said that I am never going to be “Amazoning” ANYTHING; particularly because Amazon is not a verb!  I will go to Amazon, just as I would to Google, and I will search for products—and perhaps even buy something.  But I will not “Amazon it.  In closing I would simple like to say, and have it know; in the event that I have not been to clear in expressing it….. Amazon is NOT a verb.

Bagel Widda Shmear!

I grew up in New York City.  That allowed me to have some singular experiences, particularly in the area of ethnic-related incidents.  I have always had a very large appetite for bagels with cream cheese since my early teen years.  Now there are some place that really go heavy on the cream cheese and I don’t care for that!  A nice medium layer will do for me — thank you very much.  But I was reminded of all of this because I am sitting here eating my Bagel with cream cheese (OK, I admit its the second one this week) right now.  Things are so much different now.  Now you walk into the store, buy your bagel, cream cheese, and, if you choose, your beverage ( a pint of Tropicana OJ, Home style with some pulp for me!), you toast it yourself, put on your own cream cheese and off you go.  (Well I do all of my prep at the office, not the store).

I can remember walking into one of the Jewish Deli’s in downtown New York and ordering a bagel with cream cheese.  The person taking your order would turn around and yell (this was before orders were computerized) “Bagel widda shmear!”  I never really knew what it was that they were saying, but I always got what I wanted.   Of course that was when a bagel was a plain old bagel too!  Now you have Onion, Garlic, Cinnamon Raisin, Pumpernickel, Blueberry, Everything (which has some of everything on it!)…. the list goes on and on!  Oh yeah, and if you desire… Plain!

Well, one day I was in one of my favorites Delis with a Jewish friend and when he placed his order he said the same thing as they did:  “Bagel widda shmear!”  So, seeing my opportunity, I asked, “What in the world are you saying?  I understand the Bagel part, but what kind of language is “widda shmear?”  Well, he informed me that it was all in English.  The literal translation is ‘Bagel with a smear of cream cheese.” beccause they take the cream cheese and smear it onto the bagel.  I had just been educated.  Imagine the looks I got when I ( a young black teen ager) walked into my Delis and (accent and all) ordered, “Bagel widda shmear!”

The reactions were priceless!  Well, just something I remembered from my past that I thought I’d share.